Yours is a great perspective. This one's fantastic as well: https://www.vulture.com/2015/06/rewriting-of-david-foster-wallace.html?wpsrc=nymag
From there: "There will always be readers who look to novels and novelists for instruction on how to lead their lives. Wallace, foremost among his contemporaries, seems especially to attract these readers (whatever the other pleasures to be had from his books). He courted them with bromides about brains beating like hearts, literature as a salve for loneliness, and novels comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable, etc."
This may be the trap you fell into with DFW, that many have fallen into, and that he certainly seems to have courted - of putting his own flawed person on a pedestal. I am sorry he let you down as a human. His flaws are more obvious to me, and I accept that he had an abusive side and a misogynistic one before reading.
I can hack DFW, especially since I am a former depressive and former toxic male myself, and his writing is really helping me understand all kinds of unexplored aspects of my own conditions. I'm truly fascinated by his mind in his writing and where it goes. And his writing somehow improves with the unnecessary fabulism. You have to be really spectacularly depressed to achieve his kind of verbose inversion. Still I am OK with reading him afresh in 2020, his is a dark SoC poetry with fantastic literary aspersions well-achieved ... whereas I am still not at all sure what to do about eg watching Woody Allen movies :/
Enjoyed your writing, looking forward to reading more!